Good news: I have many of the habits of billionaires. I just confirmed it. It’s that insomnia time of the month, which means I was up this morning at 4:30 am, doing all the rituals that help me get back to sleep: watch a so-so show on my iPad (Walking Dead, can’t seem to love it) get up and […]
KEEP READINGI hate the calendar and love Mandy Patinkin
Enough enough enough holidays! Don’t mind my grinchiness. Don’t get worried about me. I don’t have a dark past where I was given up to an uncaring, drunk foster mom with a greasy boyfriend on Chanukah, or where we noticed a stink in the house after Daddy went missing on Christmas morning, and then found […]
KEEP READINGI used to be an idiot, and other notes from Miami
I went to Miami last week for a few days to hang out with one of my best friends from high school. GIRL TRIP! Here are my notes. 1) I could live in Miami. I want to live in a room at The Standard or some other hotel that offers both the Times and the […]
KEEP READINGHate, Love, “Keep As New” Hell: The 3 Kinds Of Emails In My Inbox
Emails I hate: – Client emails asking for revisions, especially when those revisions are ones they could’ve done themselves in less time than it took to ask for them (“Can you please change the word ‘digital’ to ‘online’ and capitalize the network name at the top of the script? Also, I believe there is a […]
KEEP READINGPhilanthropy Accounting For Stripper-Loving Dummies
In the morning, I like to listen to hip hop radio on my iPhone. I have an app which lets me tune in to any station around the country, though no matter how much I switch around, all I hear is the same Drake song and idiotic morning-show talk. Today on the Orlando station “Wild 94.1” I heard the […]
KEEP READINGBooks vs TV: Which Is Smarter?
I’m feeling very accomplished. I watched all of Transparent on Saturday. But I know that doesn’t count as an accomplishment. Reading a book in a day is impressive. Watching a season on Amazon Prime Instant Video is a binge. Why is that? Why is reading up here and TV watching down here? (This is a Kelly Bensimon-ism […]
KEEP READINGSmooth Jazz Guy Gets A Piece Of My Mind (In My Mind)
Smooth Jazz Guy was back in the gym yesterday. As a refresher, he’s the guy in my building who has his trainer turn on the deadly Smooth Jazz Channel on the TV, at top volume. Well, guess what – yesterday, I beat him! I was in the gym first, and had already turned on the TV to my […]
KEEP READINGDon’t get on my bad side.
I read a familiar story about Mariah Carey this week. It said she wanted to go on the Wendy Williams show, and her people requested/ insisted that Wendy give up her usual side of the set so Mariah could sit there and show the better side of her face. She’s been doing this for years. […]
KEEP READINGWayback Wednesday: Mustache VS Nutsack
When my sister and I were kids, there were two places in our neighborhood to buy us shoes. One was Hary’s Florsheim, still there on 83rd and Broadway, twice the original size, and now just called Harry’s. (Visit them online!) There, the guy who fit kids for shoes had a crazy, Coney-Island-style, waxed, curled mustache. These […]
KEEP READINGHow to make your “cousins” pictures more exciting
Welcome to Yawn Country. Maybe it’s for the best, because I keep wanting to spend less time on Facebook, but my newsfeed gets so f&cking boring during the holidays. Not just the winter holidays, though those posts are especially snooze-making, what with all the “Did our tree!” posts. Something about the sight of holly and […]
KEEP READINGWayback Wednesday: Stalking, Butt Fuzz, and Pie Wars
This year, we’re doing Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. We used to do that every year without fail, and all the cousins would come to us. (We went elsewhere one year, and it was terrible because the stuffing was Stove Top. Unacceptable.) These days, people live in different places, have different people to see, and different […]
KEEP READINGGratitude that’s not dinner talk
“What are you grateful for?” On Thanksgiving, families and friends go around the table and answer that question. At least, they do on TV. My family’s a little different. We usually skip that part and say something like “Next year in Jerusalem!” because the crowd is identical to the people at our Passover table, and […]
KEEP READINGParties are hard.
Happy Monday! (I know, I know, you might be in a different hemisphere. To be inclusive, happy whatever day it is for you.) I woke up so late and groggy today. I’m still recovering from a party I went to on Saturday night. And, from the anticipation of the party. It started at 10. 10! That’s […]
KEEP READINGThe time I actually took advice
I have sleep problems. For a week straight, at least once a month, I’ll keep waking up at 2, try till around 3 to get back to sleep, then give up, eat cereal, browse Facebook to look at posts I already saw 4 hours ago — “Michael just checked in at The Spotted Pig” post, please […]
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