OMG best thing ever A fellow copywriter/word nerd posted this Merriam Webster tool in a Facebook group, and all I can say is, what a perfect birthday gift. It lets you see what words were made official the year you were born. I thought that would make me feel old, but many of the words […]
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“Mansplaining” should never have been a word. (On the dopiest portmanteau ever, and how to make your own)
Chocoholic. Faux-hawk. Netiquette. Tanorexic. Jazzercise, glitterati, Brangelina. I love a good portmanteau. You know, that kind of word that’s a combo of two words and usually a twist on a longer one. Cassingle. Showmance. Mathlete. Sometimes it’s called a frankenword. It used to be called a “Sniglet” – coined in the 1980s by comedian Rich […]
KEEP READINGAfraid to repeat yourself? Take a tip from every dumb ’80s sitcom.
It’s not just me, right? I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s rewritten a perfectly good talk because one person – repeat, ONE PERSON – who’ll be in the audience was there last time and heard it already. (I’m not, right?) And lord knows it’s not only me who’s thought, “Oh no, what if […]
KEEP READINGShit. I said a bad word.
There’s this twitter user you’ve probably heard of called “Shit My Dad Says.” He’s been on the scene since early Twitter. He tweets shit his dad says, and his feed was turned into a 2010 network tv show starring William Shatner. Except, of course, it wasn’t called “Shit My Dad Says.” It was written “$#*! […]
KEEP READINGWho hangs up on people?
On TV, people are always hanging up on each other. Sometimes it’s meant rudely. “You’ll see my smiling face in court.” CLICK. Sometimes it’s just a natural end to the conversation. “I gotta go.” CLICK. I’ve never been able to do this, either way. Even in a heated argument with a customer service representative, the […]
KEEP READINGWomen on TV have sex and moisturize so much
Three things that confound me about women on TV: 1) They are always ready to bone. And that’s all it takes. I’m talking network TV, not cable or comedy. Those show some real, awkward fumbling stuff. But on a drama, even a decent one, there’s no “Wait, wait, not ready” (note to NPR – new game show?) […]
KEEP READINGI need to start doing weights.
If there’s ever an apocalypse, I’m going down with the first bunch. I will not be in the group foraging for squirrel meat and setting up camp wherever they find flat ground. First of all, because I wouldn’t survive that scenario. I’ve barely made it through any camping trip I’ve ever gone on. Not once, but twice, on […]
KEEP READINGI hate the calendar and love Mandy Patinkin
Enough enough enough holidays! Don’t mind my grinchiness. Don’t get worried about me. I don’t have a dark past where I was given up to an uncaring, drunk foster mom with a greasy boyfriend on Chanukah, or where we noticed a stink in the house after Daddy went missing on Christmas morning, and then found […]
KEEP READINGBooks vs TV: Which Is Smarter?
I’m feeling very accomplished. I watched all of Transparent on Saturday. But I know that doesn’t count as an accomplishment. Reading a book in a day is impressive. Watching a season on Amazon Prime Instant Video is a binge. Why is that? Why is reading up here and TV watching down here? (This is a Kelly Bensimon-ism […]
KEEP READINGGimme a break
You know what the phrase “gimme a break” does to me? It creates total chaos on my head, which starts playing two tunes at once. One is the awful Kit Kat jingle — even more awful when they do the instrumental version made up of the sounds of breaking Kit Kats. How did a candy brand manage to […]
KEEP READINGCrack, Foie Gras, and 4 Seasons: How I Lost 81 Hours of My Life
I love fat. If no one’s looking, I will eat a pat of butter. Maybe I’ll stick a breadcrumb on it so I can call it “bread and butter” and not just “butter”. It does something to your self respect when you snack on straight butter. But for some reason, liver-flavored butter is a different […]
KEEP READINGThree reasons we should all shut up about “passion”.
What’s your passion? Is it a passion for passion? Do you make money from that passion?
KEEP READINGNew! Conan teaser spots for TBS
Here are a few of the spots I wrote for the launch of Conan’s new show on TBS. They’re part of the “Missing You” campaign, by Stun Creative. Stun had the concept – people missing Conan, with the John Waite song – and asked me to come up with several scenarios. What do you think?
KEEP READINGMost Valuable Popcorn Eater
I went to the Giants game on Sunday. I’ve never been to a football game before this one, except the rinky dink ones in college, and I don’t really understand football. I kind of get what’s going on when they show it on the TV show Friday Night Lights, because the commentary is so explicit. […]
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