I’m feeling very accomplished. I watched all of Transparent on Saturday. But I know that doesn’t count as an accomplishment. Reading a book in a day is impressive. Watching a season on Amazon Prime Instant Video is a binge. Why is that? Why is reading up here and TV watching down here? (This is a Kelly Bensimon-ism […]KEEP READING
Why the newspaper makes me feel bad.
Reading the paper gives me the empty feeling. I think that’s pretty common, but most people I know get upset when they’re reading it because they come away feeling like the world’s going to shit. Or to hell in a hand basket. It’s always one of those two things. For them, it’s the beheadings, the fracking, the […]KEEP READING
There’s no such thing as a small job. (Talking Shrimp grand re-opening!)
This is a proud moment for me. And for you, if we’re so close that you share my wishes and dreams and accomplishments and want to wear me as a skin suit. Ready? Talking Shrimp is all new! OK, not all new. I couldn’t change everything, on account of I hate change. Which makes me […]KEEP READING
Gimme a break
You know what the phrase “gimme a break” does to me? It creates total chaos on my head, which starts playing two tunes at once. One is the awful Kit Kat jingle — even more awful when they do the instrumental version made up of the sounds of breaking Kit Kats. How did a candy brand manage to […]KEEP READING
“C” is for Child Star
Sesame Street was my one big television appearance as a kid. Being in the show open every day for several years can go to a kid’s head. I’m lucky I didn’t end up like the Diff’rent Strokes kids, bless. Other kids around the neighborhood were regulars on the show. I was jealous of those kids. […]KEEP READING
Never go to the mall with these guys.
I turn 40 today. When you reach 40, you get nostalgic for things just because you remember them. At least I do. I was like, “remember Menudo?” and then I was like, “Awww, Menudo!” ABC used to show them in the Saturday morning commercial breaks during the show “Dear Alex and Annie.” I went to […]KEEP READING