I have sleep problems.
For a week straight, at least once a month, I’ll keep waking up at 2, try till around 3 to get back to sleep, then give up, eat cereal, browse Facebook to look at posts I already saw 4 hours ago — “Michael just checked in at The Spotted Pig” post, please go away — watch yesterday’s episode of The View on demand (because that’s my idea of “catching up on what’s going on”), eat more cereal, try to go back to bed.
These nights, the real sleeping doesn’t start till around 5 am, and the rest of the day is shot.
It’s also shot if I take something to make me sleep, like three Tylenols. That knocks me out, but I’m a dead-eyed crackhead the next day.
I won’t do Ambien, because it occasionally leads to sleep-eating, and I’d be the one who goes out for a candy bars I don’t even like, and wake up in the morning in my puffy coat surrounded by Almond Joy wrappers.
A friend of mine asked if I wanted a suggestion.
I said yes, even though I’m terrible at following suggestions. I’m a classic Yeah Yeah. As in, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll definitely try to do that.”
My body rejects advice. Especially if it involves stretching or breathing exercises, which advice ALWAYS involves nowadays. “I have a fantastic breath series you need to try.”
No, I don’t. Breath series? Don’t try to make it sound like Scandal or Breaking Bad. I know what a series is. Your word trickery is not gonna work on me, hippy.
I have one friend who gives me the kind of advice I like: stuff I’m already doing.
I’ll say, “I just started eating more fish,” and she’ll say, “You know what, you should totally do that. Start eating more fish, it’s so good for you.” And I’m like, yeah, I know, I am, I’m doing that. So we’re all good.
But this is all to say, I actually took my friend’s sleep advice. She said to try lavender oil.
Her words: “I sleep like the dead.”
Too appealing to ignore. And no breathing! I ordered some from Amazon. It came the other day, in an ugly bottle Steven made me hide where he’d never see it again, and I’ve used it 3 nights in a row.
When you rub the stuff on your hands, you go to bed smelling like a 7-11 at an off hour, when they’re mopping the place, or like urinal cakes. Now I know what they scent those with.
But you know what? All three nights, I slept like the dead.
Got any advice I should try? I’ll probably reject it, but go ahead.
Do you have sleep problems? What do you do when you can’t sleep?
Do you take advice?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
Jul's Arthur says
I am so with you on the taking advice…I know I should, I believe it is good advice, but somewhere between taking and actually implementing something happens.
I love Tova’s comment, “Take my advice—I’m not using it.”
Lane, I am going to actually take your advice…I want deep REM!
Love ya Laura…here’s to you sleeping well tonight!
One of the best sayings a friend told me was:
“Take my advice—I’m not using it” 🙂
I Love that line
Haha!! I’m going to start using that one!
I get in bed, put my head on the pillow and I’m out for 7-8 hours. I know. Be jelly. It’s a gift.
In addition to the lavender, try some Magnesium Glycinate (I take 500-1000 mg) before going to bed. It may help you get into a deeper REM, or if you’re like me, it’ll give you crazy (good) vivid dreams. (that’s because it’s putting me into a deeper REM).
Bonus: If you have “bathroom issues”, it may even soften things up for you.
It’s a win, win. Where’s my smiley poop emoticon?…
I have a bunch of other random advice to give you, so that you can throw it out the window. I’m filled with useless information and willing to share (I’m a giver like that.)
If you decide to try Mag Glycinate, start at 500 mg at night. It’s the #1 deficiency in the country and if you take it with Pyridoxal 5 Phosphate you’ll really get the benefits. ;o)
I can’t stand the smell of lavender – in fact, just yesterday I had a massage and told them “Do NOT use any products with lavender, please!” – (or cilantro, not that they use that in massage oils or lotions…) Here’s what I do when I can’t sleep – lie on my back and do that weird reverse breathing series (yes, I said it) where you push your stomach out as you inhale and suck it in as you exhale, and count backwards from 100 – actually works about 40 percent of the time…As for advice, I’m a chronic asker and very occasional follower.
Mom Belgray says
Lavender!! Makes me sneeze. Don’t come near me with that stuff! For me, a hot shower does the trick . . . usually. Except it means getting wet.
I have a sachet of fresh lavender by my bed, I love the way it smells. The challenge I need help and advice about is how to not sleep like the dead so much. I am a world champion sleeper. I can sleep almost anywhere any time. Yesterday I came home from a challenging day and snuck into bed for a two hour nap. My husband said won’t you have trouble sleeping tonight? Not me, I said. I slept like a log for 8 hours.
I’ve cultivated a self hypnosis skill for sleeping through worried mind syndrome ever since college when I studied with a hypnosis master. I’m a bit too good at it now. I’d rather be in my sweet comfy bed than anywhere else. And my dreams! They are often wildly creatve, spectacular and lucid. If I could just feel that sense of confidence and serenity in my waking life I’d be golden.
But lavender oil smells so good! My advice is – check to make sure you really got lavender oil! I’ve never used it for sleeping, think i’ll try that tonight!
I’m just glad it doesn’t leave you smelling like the dead.
Lavender also keeps you from succumbing to the plague. Goggle it…
As a an (expat east coast) LosAngeleno for 20 yrs – read, well versed in all things woo woo or otherwise, not to mention a Reiki Master and Sun Salutationer – all things I advise by the way, I kept a tiny bottle (why is yours so ugly??) of organic fresh-pressed lavender oil from Ojai (!) on my nightstand….a drop or two on my palms, breathed in and bang, out like a light. And, I never called in sick. Good advice in these Ebola times – che ne pensi?
Licia Morelli says
I feel like the advice I want to give to you is too metaphorical for a Friday…but I will suggest this: Now that you’re sleeping like the dead – REALLY pay attention to those dreams!