You know what the phrase “gimme a break” does to me?
It creates total chaos on my head, which starts playing two tunes at once.
One is the awful Kit Kat jingle — even more awful when they do the instrumental version made up of the sounds of breaking Kit Kats. How did a candy brand manage to own the entire concept of resting? Not that it works on me. I never think, “This is bullshit, I’m tired, I want a vacation and I want a Kit Kat bar.”
If I’m putting anything in my mouth just because I’m tired or fed up, it’s ice cream.
Or, when I’m trying not to do too much damage, oriental rice crackers. Though who are we kidding, just because they’re unsatisfying doesn’t mean they’re low in calories. If I did want the effect of a Kit Kat, I’d go makeshift, breaking up some chocolate that I saved from a gift bag and hid where Steven couldn’t find it to toss it out, and sandwiching it between broken pieces of honey wheat pretzels. I like my emotional eating to feel innovative.
The other song that plays in my head is, of course, the theme song to the beloved sitcom, “Gimme a Break.”
Was it really beloved? Maybe I’m making that up. I don’t know what the ratings were, but I loved it. It was on during an era when there was no Nickelodeon and no Disney Channel. A kid would watch any show that had kids in it. And Gimme A Break, though a vehicle for the large grown-up Nell Carter, had two kids on it, so it was enough of a kid’s show for me.
The only episode I remember well was the one where Katie, the older kid, goes to the ER with intense abdominal pain. When the doctor offhandedly tells Nell, the housekeeper, that the problem is Katie’s IUD birth control device, she looks up at the ceiling and laments, “Why didn’t I take that job with the Osmonds?” Cue laugh track.
Where’s all this going? I’m taking a break from posting for a few days. Not because I’ve been feeling a little like, “gimme a break,” which I have, but because….
I’m relaunching Talking Shrimp next week!
It’s my birthday present to me. I’ve got lots of work to do on it to make it ready for the high-standards-having likes of you. So, this is the last post till next Wednesday, the 29th. (My birthday’s the 30th, that’ll give you a day’s notice for last-minute gift shopping.)
See you then, all shiny and new.
What do you do when you need a break? Did you ever watch the show “Gimme a Break”? What do you think of Kit Kats?
What will you do while not reading Talking Shrimp for a week?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.