A productivity workshop seemed like a silly idea for me. No, not because I’m so productive. I could win shiny gold medals for wasting time, if there were official world records. But there aren’t, because it’s a hard thing to measure: Is staring at Facebook for hours waiting for another like to show up wasting time? Is […]
KEEP READINGHow to be famous
Last year, I attended a fantastic event in Florida called Heroic Public Speaking Live. Or, as I now call it, “HPS Live.” That’s insider lingo. At 8:25am on the first day, I met a woman named Brenda Barbosa. She’d lined up right behind me to register, in the “last names A-D” line. Brenda knew that […]
KEEP READINGWayback Wednesday: I Worked In A Fecal Punk Rock Bar (Or, How To Avoid Having A Business That’s Not Your Scene)
25 years ago, a fucking quarter century, I was working in a bar downtown. East Village. I didn’t even know where I was, except how to get there from the subway. On my way, I walked past the Palladium and a bunch of junkies. It was winter, so I wore my black wool coat there. […]
KEEP READINGWho would you be if money didn’t matter?
Today, an ad in my Facebook feed asks, WHO WOULD YOU BE IF MONEY DIDN’T MATTER? And then it says, FREE Video Series Will Help You Discover Your Personal Path to Financial Liberation! The image below is a woman — the actual person who’s going to teach you this path — in a thin, 1970s style halter top cut down to […]
KEEP READINGWriting resolutions I want to start right now
Writing resolutions I want to start right now: Write every day. Write shorter copy. Write shorter sentences. Trim the fat, even if I’m in love with the fat. I meant that figuratively, but I do love fat. I’ve fork-stabbed my own husband over a piece of chicken skin. Stop using so many parentheses (though I might […]
KEEP READINGBe for the weirdos – and other lessons from a day with Seth Godin
I was so mad that Friday. At 6:40, I was hustling off to my 7pm House dance class, wearing my dowdy, full-length black down coat and all kinds of other thermal layers. I’d walked a block thinking, “Only for Cebo’s class do I go out in this cold.” Cebo is my teacher’s “dance name.” (All the […]
KEEP READINGCurious vs nosy: what’s the diff?
In 6th grade, I was climbing the stairwell at school and heard D’Aisy* a half flight up, talking loudly to her BFF Giselle*. D’Aisy said, “I’m not inviting her.” Giselle said, “Good, she bugs me so much.” Interesting. I started jogging up the steps to catch up. “Who’s this about?” I asked them. “Who bugs you?” […]
KEEP READINGA Disappointment Matrix, manifesting, The Apprentice, cookies, and dirty socks
What can I tell you? The world turned upside down this week. Someone said, “I can’t wait to see the Talking Shrimp post about all this!” But there’s too much to say about it, and nothing feels adequate. And: when is it appropriate to write something that’s not about “all this”? Maybe now’s OK. Today, […]
KEEP READINGDon’t throw that out! (1980s buttons and more from Casa Mom ‘n’ Dad)
My parents don’t like to throw things out. Neither do I. Steven keeps saying, “apple, tree” whenever he sees evidence of a hereditary hoarding pattern. And since we’ve been living here for a month, he’s had many opportunities to say it. Here are some of the things my parents hold onto: A ziploc baggie of […]
KEEP READINGDon’t let this happen to your ideas.
I found two plastic bags of moldy muffin scraps in my tote this morning. They taught me an important lesson about creativity. (OK, that’s a major stretch, but why not make old bread products a teachable moment? Plus, let’s face it, everyone’s “lessons” on the internet are pushing it.) Here’s the backstory: I can’t snack these days. […]
KEEP READINGRemain an unshowered troll, or show your face? (The entrepreneur’s dilemma.)
I didn’t shower yesterday. Not for any reason except I kept getting sucked into a work or Facebook vortex every time I looked at the computer. And I kept looking just when I was about to shower. I went to bed feeling filmy. I actually love the shower. I don’t avoid it like my friend Victoria, who’s scared […]
KEEP READINGThis is for the lazy ones.
I’ve helped a lot of coaches with their copy. Life coaches, wellness coaches, joy coaches, high-performance coaches, abundance coaches, gluten-cleanse coaches, empowerment coaches, vibrational alignment coaches. Confidence coaches, bone broth coaches, flow coaches. Not a menstrual thing. (I’m tempted to put quotation marks on some of those but I won’t. There’s a lid for every pot, a client […]
KEEP READINGWithout free samples, I’m nobody (and 6 other truths I’ve discovered since getting a plastic mouth)
Do you think a lot about your mouth? If not, lucky you! Not thinking about your mouth is a luxury you need to start appreciating right now. Light a scented candle and write about it in your gratitude journal. I think about my mouth all day. Everywhere I go, there it is — stealing the […]
KEEP READING“Um, yes?” is the new “Go for it,” my father will not be stopped, and other lessons from a writing workshop in Italy
Oh hi. I’m a shitty example. Last month I was in Italy, teaching 30 people that there’s always something to write about. I even passed around a printed guide I wrote called The Art Of The Start (How To Start Writing Anything). I got everyone writing. I came back all jazzed to write about it. But I return from […]
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