I wish I had eyes in the back of my head. I know everyone wishes that, especially people with kids, so they could see what the kids are doing with the scissors and the permanent marker and the dirty diaper and the dog and the family heirloom without losing focus on driving. I’d want the backward-facing eyes so […]
KEEP READINGThings I’m totally going to take back.
My tote bag – the dirty, faded Talking Shrimp one that I use for walks, as opposed to the nicer one I use for going out – has in it: My bulging wallet, An almost-empty Poland Springs water bottle (one last emergency sip, worth keeping) My iPhone earbuds A bunch of loose, long-ass, drugstore receipts, […]
KEEP READINGYeah, you. Yeah, you.
My husband is my favorite person to run into on the street. First, I don’t have to worry if I look OK because if I don’t, he’s already seen it. Second, there’s no question about whether we’re going to stop and say hi. No awkward moment of already having waved/ nodded hello and then doing the tentative […]
KEEP READINGThe 80s? Please. Here’s the real NYC horror show
[NOTE: This post is awesome (though needs updating) but if you’re looking for my instagram account, go here.] There’s a Halloween House of Horrors thing in New York called Nightmare: New York. This year, it’s focusing on the 80s, including a 1980s subway. And I’m like, oh please. Here’s what they say about it. What are […]
KEEP READINGGetting married is “easy”? I can’t be friends with this person.
This weekend, the NY Times ran an opinion piece by Elizabeth Wurtzel called Getting Married Is Easy: Why I Will Be Wed. If you don’t know, Elizabeth Wurtzel was the literary It Girl in the 90s, when she wrote a hot-topic book called Prozac Nation. I didn’t read it because she annoyed me just by appearing all over the […]
KEEP READINGI cried.
Went to the most beautiful wedding this weekend. The ceremony was on the water’s edge in Montauk, Long Island, right as the sun set. The couple, both genetically blessed and stylish in their own right, knows every sexy, surfy person in the sexy-surfy-person mecca that is Montauk. And they both have good looking families. So that was the guest […]
KEEP READINGI have nothing to say today.
I knew this day would come. The day when I feel like I have nothing to say. Sometimes I get inspired on my morning walk – like, check out the chick at the farmers market wearing diaper jeans. That’s a blog post! Sometimes I get inspired the night before when I’m watching TV with Steven. […]
KEEP READINGAre you busy like I’m busy?
A friend on Facebook just posted a link to a NY Times piece about how “busy” we all are. And how compelled we are to answer, “you know, busy” when someone asks how we are. Not an original observation, but the fact that I saw it on Facebook felt so fitting, and made me think about what I really […]
KEEP READINGNeurotic medical and physical sh*t I’ve googled
The other day, I opened my iPad as Steven was walking by, and this was on the screen. When he saw that, he hugged himself and rocked back and forth blissfully like a child embracing a favorite teddy bear, which is what he does when I do or say something stupid that he wants to […]
KEEP READINGYou will wear diaper pants.
Last night at dinner, I asked Steven if we’d both end up wearing those diaper pants. “Yeah, probably,” he said without much thought. “And I know I can’t convince you, but I think we should live in the country somewhere and have a car that lowers so it’s easy to get into. The city’s just tough […]
KEEP READINGThe good kind of jet lag never lasts.
Help! My jet lag is deserting me. Eastbound jet lag sucks, but I love the westbound kind. It’s the only thing that makes me wake up early, unless you count having to pee, or leg cramps. I’m genetically programmed to sleep till at least 9. I’m very defensive of my night-owl/ morning-sloth tendencies, because I don’t like […]
KEEP READINGNo forks in the toilet: 6 crucial flying tips you haven’t heard
The other day, I posted about my vacation. The part I didn’t post about was the flight back. Here are a few things to know next time you fly. 1) Meridiana sucks hairy ones. That’s the terrible airline we flew. Never heard of it? Neither did the passport agent in NYC. He was like, “Meruh-what? […]
KEEP READINGWhere were you that day? (An encore post)
[UPDATE: I keep updating this post because every time I look back at it, the intro has already become dated. I don’t have kids, but I can say of the world: it grows up so fast! Or regresses. Either way, it changes. And some of my readers weren’t even born when this all happened. (My […]
KEEP READINGDon’t fall, do have eyelashes, and other tips /notes from Italy vacation
Yup. The blog resumes with a semi-trip-report. I research every trip to death, which includes sifting through old-people trip reports on Fodors’ forums. I have to skim them, because they’re exhausting to read — every morsel of food, every moment of the flight, the cab from the airport, the brand of walking shoes (Aerosole/ Merrel), the brand of theft-proof […]
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