My jet lag is deserting me. Eastbound jet lag sucks, but I love the westbound kind. It’s the only thing that makes me wake up early, unless you count having to pee, or leg cramps. I’m genetically programmed to sleep till at least 9.
I’m very defensive of my night-owl/ morning-sloth tendencies, because I don’t like how self-righteous morning people are.
“You missed the whole morning! The sunrise was so beautiful! Look, I already bought rare orange hydrangeas at the farmers market, but they’re all gone now.”
Oh really? Well you missed the night, and it was awesome. All the best infomercials were on, including one for the Purrfect Arch, which is a cat product (duh) that they should make for humans. Can you imagine – a structure in your own living room that can scratch all your itchy parts AND collect all the hair you shed so it doesn’t end up all over the house?
That’s the kind of creativity and inspiration that happens at night.
But I have to admit it:
I secretly, desperately want to be a morning person.
I get a glimpse of the life they have when my jet lag is fresh and propels me out of bed before 7.
Wow, the streets aren’t crowded yet!
I’ve got first crack at all the heirloom tomatoes!
An hour on Facebook before I’ve normally even started thinking about wasting time!
My coffee place just opened and smells like fresh-baked muffins and the line of moms after kindergarten drop-off aren’t here yet!
Sshhh! The junkies are still sleeping!
Look, they’re still setting up shop in my grocery store.
Dammit, why haven’t they put out the egg salad by now?
(Turns out that egg salad store wasn’t open yet. A guy tapped me on the shoulder, and, as I pulled out my headphones and turned around, I realized he’d been chasing me through the aisles and shouting to get my attention, but I hadn’t heard him over the Hot 97 morning show.)
I wish that phase could last. It always feels like it will.
It’s like when you recover from a stomach virus and no longer feel like you’re going to die, but still don’t have an appetite, and you think, “Now, I just eat for fuel. I no longer crave snacks. And this is the way it’ll be forever. World, meet the new me.”
Are you a morning person, a wannabe morning person, or neither? Opinions on the whole thing?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS
(Unless you’re going to tell me that the secret is going to bed early. Got it.)