My husband is my favorite person to run into on the street.
First, I don’t have to worry if I look OK because if I don’t, he’s already seen it.
Second, there’s no question about whether we’re going to stop and say hi.
No awkward moment of already having waved/ nodded hello and then doing the tentative “should we go all the way?’ dance.
No pretending we don’t see each other by looking very hard at our phones or making our eyes extra glazed over to indicate, “I’m so in my thoughts that there’s no possible way I saw you. If I’d seen you, I’d totally have said hello.”
No bopping our heads to make-believe music that’s not actually playing on our ear buds (that we keep in our ears out of sheer habit) to indicate same as above.
(OK, Steven never has earbuds in. They’re bad for his tinnitus, and he thinks only fools need to listen to something while they walk. That one is all me.)
Usually, if Steven sees me coming, he’ll hide behind a lamppost.
It’s our little “thing” we do. Or, he really doesn’t want me to spot him. Yesterday, though, it was raining, and with his umbrella up, he wasn’t looking that far down the street and didn’t see me coming.
I didn’t have an umbrella. I had a sweatshirt hood up and my sunglasses on, which I use as umbrellas for my eyes. I stopped about 30 feet in front of Steven to get his attention, bopping my head to actual music that was playing on my earbuds. Rihanna. He still wasn’t looking up, so I bopped more conspicuously — Do you remember the ’80s dance “the wop”? Like that — and then, when he still didn’t look up, added some disco-y footwork. And a little yeah you, yeah you, I see you point-point-point, which was slightly ungraceful due to the plastic bag of cherry tomatoes swinging from one wrist and my iced coffee in the other hand.
It might have looked like I was offering him a drink and a plastic bag.
Anyway, when he still didn’t acknowledge me, I waited, holding a tough-girl pose, to block his path and get up in his face. And that’s when I realized it was not Steven.
Which is good, because Steven would’ve been so embarrassed for me.
I don’t know what you say to that. What have you done lately that’s mortifying?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
Steven: This really happened, I just didn’t tell you because I like it when you find the worst things out about me from my blog.