“I didn’t know you were back.” My mom is always a little hurt when she finds out I’ve been back a few days from a trip and haven’t told her. But back isn’t really “back.” Sometimes there’s jet lag. Sometimes there’s a post-vacation “I don’t want to deal with the reality that my life can’t […]
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A severe case of “don’t wanna do sh*t”
Last week, I treated myself to some heavy-duty, delightfully effective Tylenol Cold and Flu. Man, do I love Western medicine! Praise Duane Reade. Blessed be CVS. My one complaint is the damn packaging that breaks off your fingernails. “Peel from this corner” is the biggest tease of all time. Why don’t they let us go through all […]
KEEP READINGA business lesson from being dissed and then eating sand-covered ribs in practically a hurricane
That day at the Sunshine Shack, we’d done everything right. Our friends Dan and Jess* had scored us beach chairs early. Dan had put in our order as soon as the owner showed up to start basting his meat. And yet, after watching everyone on the beach but us get their delicious-smelling ribs, Dan went to check on our lunch […]
KEEP READINGI never change. But who does?
The barista at my corner coffee shop hesitated when he saw me today. He had the large plastic cup in his hand, but before filling it with my usual order (all the way to the top with ice, then cold-brew coffee with about an inch of room for milk, please, and charge me for a medium […]
KEEP READINGThe 20 Stages of Public Speaking
I stood on the high diving board, looking down. Nope, nope, nope. I was 10 years old, at the pool at Twin Lakes Tennis & Swim Club. That’s where my family went on hot days from our weekend house in Stamford, Ct. The usual suburban club: Moms with deeply freckled chests. Tennis whites. Cheeseburgers, defrosted crinkle-cut fries, ketchup […]
KEEP READINGGotta be on time for yelling in public.
Yesterday was a good day for people yelling in public. I don’t mean they were having a good day. Judging from the yelling, two out of three were not. But it was a good day for spotting them. There was the lady, trim, groomed, late 50s, designer bag, skinny jeans — the picture of a middle-aged, upper middle […]
KEEP READINGOy. These people and their “biz” rules.
“Excuse me. You can’t have dogs in here.” That’s what everyone with a dog was told at the Silverlake Farmer’s Market in LA when I was visiting last year. Not by a cop. By my 4-year-old nephew, Samson. It’s not that he worries about food safety or crowd control. He just likes rules. They’re very important […]
KEEP READINGYour hands are tied, my ass.
You know what’s bullshit? When someone says, “I’d love to help you, but my hands are tied, I can’t.” I can’t take that charge off your bill. I don’t have the authority to change your flight. I can’t let you in, we’re at capacity. And you’re wearing ugly-ass shoes. I can’t bring you sushi, we only […]
KEEP READINGWhy didn’t anyone tell me I looked like this all the time?
I thought I was going to be a natural on camera. Yeah, no. We did a test shoot for my on-camera segments of The Copy Cure, an online copywriting course that I’m creating with my friend Marie Forleo. This test shoot revealed two things. 1) It’s hard to read from a teleprompter and not sound like […]
KEEP READINGI’m going to visit my sworn ex-imaginary-arch-business-enemy.
The non-refundable plane tickets are booked. I’m going to visit my arch enemy. OK, ex-arch-enemy. Because we’ve become friends. Well, really, ex-imaginary-arch-business-enemy. Because I made up the enemy part in my head. She never had any part in it. She’s a fellow copywriter/entrepreneur. People have often said to me, “You know who your writing reminds me of? […]
KEEP READINGNo one’s thinking about you as much as you are. (And why you don’t need to apologize for not blogging more)
I look like shit I look like shit I look like shit. That’s the thought that ruined my whole evening recently. And my steak. That day, I’d been part of a photo shoot for a friend who’s a stylist and needed to put outfits on real people (read: so. not. models.) for her blog. She had pros there to do my […]
KEEP READINGMom, this business is copying me.
When I was 6 and my sister was 3, she copied everything I did. I’m being specific about our ages because when I was 15 and Marian was 12, she was way cooler than I was, and had no desire to copy. She had make-out parties on the loft in my room with her enviously co-ed gang […]
KEEP READINGGood boss, bad boss
I’m the boss of me. Which means… 1) I have the best boss! 2) I have the worst boss. Best: I’m letting me go on vacation tomorrow, so close to my last vacation. No guilt trip about how it’s “bad for company morale.” No warnings about how this is eating into my summer vacation, or requests […]
KEEP READINGThere’s no such thing as a small job. (Talking Shrimp grand re-opening!)
This is a proud moment for me. And for you, if we’re so close that you share my wishes and dreams and accomplishments and want to wear me as a skin suit. Ready? Talking Shrimp is all new! OK, not all new. I couldn’t change everything, on account of I hate change. Which makes me […]
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