If it’s 8am, I’m still sleeping. Go away.
9am? Still sleeping.
Maybe even at 10.
I’m not proud that I sleep so late, but I’m proud that I can.
I’ve built a successful business that lets me be the Queen of Snooze that I am.
(So can you. More on that down the page.)
Fun fact: The last 9-5 job I had, I got fired from. Because of the “9” part.
It was 1994. A high-profile weekly magazine.
My boss, whom we’ll call Evelyn to protect the identity of someone whose office stank of sauerkraut, used to call me at my extension at 9am on the dot, and leave a voicemail to make it official that I wasn’t there yet.
In a congested voice that permanently sounded like she was holding back a sneeze, she’d say: “Hi Laura. It’s Evelyd. I guess you’re dot here yet. Dot good. You’re jeopardizihg your Friday subber hours.”Beep. End of. New messages.
Lateness wasn’t Evelyn’s only issue with me.
She also thought my ideas needed to be “more elegant, more up here” – which she would illustrate by waving her flat, downward facing palm over her head. (Ironically, the universal sign for “over my head.”)
The main sticking point was probably that I was an entitled, young shit who didn’t want to be there — and showed it by slacking, rolling my eyes at meetings, and wearing very un-office-y attire. I liked shrunken, belly-button-baring baby tees that I had no business wearing anywhere.
Never did have flat abs.
After I’d been there 6 months, Evelyn called me into her hot-dog-scented office and asked me to shut the door. That was it.
20 years later (oh shit, what?), I’m a respectful pro with my clients, because I’ve grown up and because I like and respect them. But as for sleeping late and wearing unacceptable work outfits, that hasn’t changed.
Which is fine. No one sees the worn-out Gap Body ensembles (traded in the slutty tees for saggy sweats). And I can’t be fired. In fact, I keep getting yearly raises. From myself.
Psst: Do you smell a segue? Good nose.
My income has nearly tripled in the past few years, thanks to my friend Marie Forleo and her course, B-School. The things she teaches in B-School have completely transformed my career. That’s why I’m recommending it.
If you have a business you want to get off the ground, or one that’s already going but not going as well as you’d like…
If you’ve been told you need a website, or a better website, and an email list, and you’re overwhelmed with where to start…
If you’re not cut out for office life, but have a talent you want to share and make money from…
…This B-School thing could be for you. It’s an 8-week program, all online. Do it when you want, at your own pace.
I go back through it every year and use it to make little tweaks in my business that make a huge difference. For instance: last April, I made a few simple changes to my website that brought in better, higher-paying clients all year. My best year yet.
Marie has three great, free training videos up as well as a syllabus of B-School that you can check out right now.
Video #3 is already up, and you’ll see it there along with #2, but I recommend starting with Video #1:
(My favorite part of Video #1 is why nice people — and not assholes — are wired to succeed in today’s business environment. )
B-School enrollment starts next week, February 19th. If you decide it’s for you and you sign up through my link, I’ll have an incredible bonus for you. (Hint: It’ll give you an edge with your website and marketing copy.)
If you’ve already checked out Marie’s videos, you can still sign up later through my link. I’ll be sending it, don’t worry.
THE FAT PRINT
I’m an affiliate of B-School. That means I get a commission if you sign up through me. I’d still recommend it even if that weren’t the case. I don’t put this in tiny print, because a) that would be sleazy and b) then I couldn’t read it, because I need glasses and refuse to get them and c) I want you to know that I’m hugely proud to promote B-School, and never would if I didn’t believe in it.
It’s not a gimmicky thing. It’s entertaining, insightful training that anyone can use to be more successful.
Again, here’s the link to Video #1:
Whew! This was long. I might need to go back to sleep.
Please keep voices low. I need 9 hours. Thanks!
ps – Evelyn insisted on keeping leftover party platters in her office “to munch on.” Hence the sauerkraut smell.