1) People who say “I have a larger than life personality” just have larger assholes. Gaping ones.
2) People who say “I don’t need the negativity in my life” and “I just want to surround myself with positive people” don’t know or like any positive people. The closest thing they have is a cheap “healing” candle that smells like a urinal cake.
3) People who say “I don’t have time for the drama” have two things. 1) Time 2) A lust for drama. In fact, they’re hoping you will point this out, which will stir up some drama, which will give them cause to CALL YOU OUT IN ALL CAPS or pull your weave.
4) People who talk about “haters” and call them “jealous people trying to bring me down” have nothing to be jealous of, but so much to hate.
5) People who wrap up a disagreement in a Facebook thread by sending you “love and light” are sending you a thick, heavy ray of doo-doo.
6) People who say “People are so easily offended! It’s called SARCASM, folks! Lighten up, I was being funny!” are usually about as funny as the Holocaust. Which might also have been sarcasm, but we didn’t get it.
7) People who say “Guys can’t handle a strong woman” should try not emailing, texting, tweeting, private messaging, timeline posting, and Starbucks-card-gifting progressively crazy communications — from “that was fun” to “whassup” to “you ok?” to “???” to “Thanks for sending mixed messages, have a Frappuccino on me, hope your dick falls off. Wishing you love and light” — all after just one date.
[Tweet “People who say “I have a larger than life personality” just have larger assholes. Gaping ones. via @lbelgray”]
Got anything to add to this? What other kinds of people do you meet in Crazy Town?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
ps – Got copy envy?
Copy envy hurts so bad! And yours can make other people feel that way, if you want. If you want help making your website, blog, emails, and even sales pages more fun to read, and more envy-inspiring, that’s what I do when I’m not blogging. Check out my “hire me” page, and give a shout.