Should I be ashamed?
Am I a freak?
A grinch, a soulless beast, a Kardashian-hearted money grubber?
I wonder that sometimes. Because here’s what I see:
People in the online business world (life coaches, business coaches, healers, private chefs, virtual assistants, copywriters, dog psychics) who cater to other people in the online business world (other life coaches, business coaches, healers, and so on)? Especially women? Who call themselves things ending in -preneur?
They all start their websites the same way.
HEY THERE, GORGEOUS!
You’re here because you’re a change maker. A leader. You live to serve, and want to make a BIG impact in the world.
You’re here to transform lives.
The only problem is…
And then it gets to the problem:
…You’re tired. You’re unknown. You’re afraid to “play big.” You feel bad charging what you’re worth. You’re a crazy-busy mom. You have adrenal fatigue and carpal tunnel syndrome and sugar shock and brain fog. You’re a people-pleaser with no boundaries and no time for YOU. You’re a funnel-phobe. You’re overwhelmed by your overwhelm. You’re frenzied and frazzled when you could be fabulous and fierce. You haven’t stepped into your awesomeness, or leapt into your greatness, or sat and slid around in your juicy, delicious, superb-idocious-ness. You don’t know how to hold space for bubble baths.
(Some of) those are problems worth solving. But let’s go back to the beginning, the assumption that every one of us is here to make big change and create major transformation. In the world. (Always, “in the world.” Or “on the planet.” So global.)
Anyone not? Am I the only one raising my hand?
Am I the only one who doesn’t identify with the term “heart-centered” or “purpose-driven” because, even though I have a heart and a purpose, mine don’t seem big and squishy enough to qualify for those terms? (Whatever those terms mean. To me, they scream, “Please don’t accuse me of caring about money!”)
Am I the only one who’s not all global an’ shit?
I don’t wake up every morning thinking, “How can I serve more people?” or “How can I start a movement, a revolution?”
I DON’T CARE
Sorry, that just came out of me. It’s not totally true. I care about people. I care about how my work affects them. I love it more than anything when someone says, “What you wrote is exactly what I needed to read today.” Or “The copy you helped me write has already brought in 5 new high-paying clients.” Yay! I do like helping.
But more than that, I like entertaining people and making them laugh.
And yeah, I like being known for it.
I’m not going to pretend it’s because being known means I can make change on a larger scale and share my message with more people. Sure, that’s fun stuff, but really it’s because being a little famous feels great. Even if it’s fake famous. Only-in-this-tiny-weirdo-corner-of-the-internet famous. Look, I don’t think anyone is out there googling “Laura Belgray net worth” or “Laura Belgray plastic surgery.” [UPDATE: Thanks to recent articles revealing both my income and my age, these actually have become search terms.]
But “Laura Belgray website,” people have googled. And I enjoy that. Fellow nerds coming up to me at any kind of nerdfest and saying they nerd out on my work, I enjoy as well. Dark secret: I like attention!
More than anything, I like having fun doing what I do and making money from it. That’s my “Mission Statement,” K?
I suppose if I were all about the money, I’d learn about investing and spend my time doing that. (I did sign up for James Altucher’s cryptocurrencies course in a moment of weakness, right after I heard that if I’d spent a a thousand bucks on bitcoins 7 years earlier I’d have made over five million dollars. I never cracked the course open, but did buy some bitcoin—at the high. #wompwomp)
But yeah, I’m largely about the money.
You heard right. I like-a da money.
I like having it, I like spending it. I like eating in great restaurants, I like living in NYC, I like lots of expensive things. I like travel and loathe flying coach. I like my 5-dollar coffee, sometimes twice a day. My life, the way I like to live it, costs a tidy bundle. The way I’d really like to live it costs way more.
(This is the part where I’m supposed to say I want to spend lots more on charity. Yes, and, that’s what everyone says to justify wanting money. I’m not doing that.)
My friend Denise Duffield Thomas, author of “Get Rich, Lucky Bitch,” says that everyone has what she calls “money blocks.” I won’t argue. I’ve got ’em, big time, or I would…I dunno, save some? Ever?
But not everyone’s money block is that they feel they’re above making some.
I suppose even if I didn’t need or want the money, I’d still write. Maybe I’d still take a client here and there. One a week. But not all of them. Because I don’t need to help all the people.
I’m happy helping a select handful of cool ones. People who aren’t offended when I mock seitan or say I hate yoga and still have no idea what “light work” is supposed to mean.
Time to stomp out the epidemic of sameness (disguised as sassiness) that’s been raging through the industry like Norovirus* on a Carnival Cruise.
[*Norovirus joke made long before days of Covid. Leaving it as a time capsule.]
There’s this panic that if you’re not about “female empowerment” (vague) or wiping out famine, then you’re the douche making videos with bored, borrowed models in front of borrowed Lambos. Like there’s no in-between.
Everyone’s reading everyone else’s website copy and email copy, and thinking, “Hey gurl, you want to transform lives — in a big way” is what you have to say if you want to stand out and resonate.
Not with me, it’s not.
Now, maybe I’m not the person you’re looking for. Maybe you’re grossed out by everything I’m saying. But here’s the deal:
If you cater to other service-based online types, or entreprenerds in general, think before you market yourself:
Are you SO SURE your client or customer is here to change the world?
If not, time to change your approach.
Thoughts on this? Are you tired of seeing the same copy everywhere?
Do you secretly feel like you don’t fit into this “change the world” box?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.